NEW ENQUIRIES DAILY 2026

 

In order of composition, newest at the top. 

Photographs from Ashurst, New Forest unless indicated otherwise

How must it feel to be a female blackbird –

I dare not call them blackbirdettes –

knowing that your very name

assumes that you are male.

 

The war on these enemies

may never be won:

they will be back -

they are plucked, but not fucked.

 

Up against

the green and brown

a perfect clutch of primroses

pales into significance.

I know a trend

when I see one

though I am a tad more iffy

on distinctions.

 

How about Sneaky Sneaks

and Snoopy Snoops

and, though I'm not sure what Snups are,

I'd bet on them being snuppy.

 

(Whitechapel, London)

My hot water bottle clock

is rarely wrong. Just now,

lukewarmth in darkness,

it says it’s roughly five.

 

Did I really have to come

all the way to Amsterdam, just to see a jackdaw?

Or do I mean: did this jackdaw really have to fly

all the way from England to get my attention?

(Rotterdam)

 

I don’t know what ‘sprinter’ means

in Dutch, but a sprinter proves 

a slower train

than my failure to translate it had suggested.

 

(Oddly, I found later, Google claims that the Dutch word ‘sprinter’ is equivalent to the British word ‘sprinter’. Perhaps the point is that sprinters are worn out very quickly and can’t be expected to compete over long distances. I should have caught a ‘middle distance runner’ between Rotterdam and Amsterdam.)

 

Only after the initial blow

did he spot

that the body in sexy question

was just a lighter case.

 (Amsterdam)

Either Pisa

Has come to Amsterdam,

or I can’t hold my camera

very straight.

(Amsterdam)

 

What’s Leonardo

doing here?

Isn't Rembrandt

famous enough?

 (Amsterdam)

How can you go wrong

with an inflatable woman?

If she loses her charm

you can let her down gently.

(Amsterdam)

 

I can never remember

what they're called,

but they're out again -

which always surprises me…

 

(I'm teasing a little: that is, of course, as I did not forget, Myosotis sylvatica)

 

Aldgate was demolished in 1760

yet still boasts its own High Street and church,

two underground stops and a bus station.

That’s my kind of afterlife…

(Aldgate, London - that, though, is Fenchurch Street railway station, for some reason not called Aldgate station)

Is that equation still in place?

Money and power for youth and beauty?

I like to think not,

that she’s the one who has all four.

 

If Tom fails to sync

with the violet bushbaby,

let's hope the old girls

catch musical fire with Sophia.

(Bournemouth)

 

If I say stop

then stop.

If I say go,

fuck off!

(Cambridge Heath, London)

 

If only my tongue

and any tail I used to have

or might acquire

were or would be that well matched!

 

(Aldgate, London)

 

Here we are

putting the end in Southend

as approached from the south.

So… what does that forfend?

(Southend) 

 

Before we get to the rights and wrongs....

Do they look miserable

because they're unwelcome, or are they unwelcome

because they're miserable?

 

(Southend)

 

We are the shingle-fish

breaching our surface:

not stranded

but at home.

 

(Deptford, London)

 

Which 25,000

would you prefer:

dogs in Slough

or lions in the world?

 

England has a dog for every five people. The population of Slough is some 125,000. There are estimated to be just 25,000 wild lions worldwide.  The Chow Chow is the dog most often thought to look leonine.

 

It doesn't look fine

It doesn't look specialist.

It doesn't really look like art.

I guess those are the clouds…

 

(Chichester)

Of course this building

is alarmed:

every building ought to be,

given the trend in world events.

 

(Southwark, London)

 

Here's Brighton

with its glitter-glimpse of sea  -

minus the glitter

in a photograph, sadly…

(Brighton)

 

 

I like a criss

I like a cross

I like a criss-cross

even more.

 

(Southwark, London)

 

              

You cannot drape

a painted word,

however large

you spell out the intention…

 

(Deptford, London)

        

Not so much the doughnuts

as the divisions –

and the curious warnings

about wet paint.

 

(London Bridge)

        

I suspect that this disposal

isn't down to brokenness, but simply to the sun emerging

how many umbrellas

has the former owner got at home?

 

(Bermondsey, London)

 

When a pigeon

is reduced

to eating its shadow

you know bird times are getting hard. 

 

(Deptford, London)

 

 

Can you duck when you’re flying?

If you can,

the ducks are ducking

behind the tree.

 

(Deptford, London)

  

Such a beautiful chapel!

If only

I could hold my funeral

while I’m still alive…

 

(Brompton Cemetery, London)

 

Walker walks

no more upon this earth.

I stroll past

not quite regardless. 

 

(Brompton Cemetery, London)

 

If a flower

can't lie at peace

in a cemetery,

where exactly can it?

 

(Brompton Cemetery, London)

 

     

That's a daft amount of daffs –

daffy with daffs,

daffinately over-daffed,

the very daffination of daff-daft…

 

(Hackney, London)

 

 

This is a sad sock

Even if it had a friend,

even if it had a foot

I can't see it being happy.

 

I was going to say 

‘It’s bound to be wet 

when water vans kiss’ -

except that it’s been raining every day.

This morning’s wind’s in just the right

furling and unfurling form –

even if I'm not too sure

we want the flag at all.

 

During 2025-6 prominent unofficial flying of the Union Jack and St George’s Cross became an indirect means of right wing parties signalling their racism.

It's something of a rule

that light escapes

Whoever thought that bars

would keep it in?

(Guildford Railway Station)

 

The intelligent magpie

is one of the few non-mammalian species

able to recognize itself in a mirror test –

and here’s the proof.

 

 

Quadruple feathers

are rather rare:

they ought to bring more luck

than even four-leaved clover.

 

This photo may be more than unspectacular

but it served a purpose:

only because I decided to take it

did I discover that I’d left my phone behind.

 

(Southampton: whether it was worth taking the photo after I’d retraced my steps to recover my phone is another matter…)

 

I don’t like the look

of being diverted:

it’s all too obvious

where it will end.

(Southampton)   

I guess it lands

differently in Korea,

but I like the thought

that food should nourish more than the body.

(Clerkenwell, London)

 

How to commute

in two easy lessons

that probably didn't need

significant training.

(London-Weymouth train) 

When every destination

is a blur

it makes sense

if the travellers join in....

 

(Southampton Central)

           

I’m calling this a ‘sun cloud’ -

solar-cumulus to be fancier -

with no meteorological basis,

just the weather in my eyes.

 

I may well be

more sous than chef

but Steph admits

I'm pretty good at stirring.

How much structure do I want?

Not so much

as that scarily regulated version of myself

against which I am pressed.

No hedge is natural

Yet when bad hedge

meets good hedge

I do sense a difference.

 

(Vauxhall Bridge, London)

 

Not only has spring

done it springy stuff

and sprung the daffy sprogs,

they're already somewhat down at heel.

No more than fifty billion light years

would bring us to the edge of the observable universe…

Only to realise, I dare say,

that what we’d seen was just the start.

(Hubble's photo, not mine! We are at the centre of the diameter of the sphere of the current 'observable universe', which is 93 billion light-years across. In miles, some 93 billion x 6 trillion…)

How come the doodle-grid

encompasses the world

at macro- and micro- scopic levels

and yet means nothing? 

The focus on a single crocus

makes mythic sense,

Krókos being lovelorn when the flower was formed.

Yet you rarely see one exiled from the clump.

This is refreshing

At least once a year,

it seems,

the Tories are open to new ideas.

(Totton)


 

Looks like a fight

took place in our garden.

Looks like it might have been

leaves against feathers.

 

Not so much

shit creek without a pedal

as

pedal creek without a bike.

(Pimlico, London)

 

Golden rain

is rarer than gold

and gold is £4,000

per ounce.

 

(Mayfair, London)

                    

I could shake a stick at this lot

if I had a stick.

Maybe that’s why

they’re not sticks, but umbrellas.

 

(St James’s, London)

She was looking out 

from under a shadow, 

wondering what that represented,

when I caught her looking away.

(Oxford Circus underground station)

This city gent

must be older than he looks.

Who wears a top hat

nowadays?

 

(Liverpool Street, London)

       

They look to be ready

for any number of fires,

here where there seems to be

nothing much to burn…

 

(Peckham, London)

 

I’ve heard that this shop

won’t be opening

ever again.

I wonder if it’s true?

 

(Hornsey, London)

It's good to be surprised

and I hadn't expected a low-fi version

of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology 

to pop up in Whitechapel.

 

(Whitechapel, London)

 

What is the best of all possible words?

‘Consummate’ might be a runner,

perfectly recalling that first time

we were moved to add a ‘d’.

                           

All this streetlight 

appears to illumine -

at least from this angle -

is that's there's a toilet to let.

 

(Bow, London)

 

I’ve seen umbrellas wounded -

a broken strut, a rip in the gut.

I’ve seen umbrellas dying.

But this one is definitely dead.

 

(Peckham, London)

 

Sorry about that

I didn't realize just how strong I am.

Did you want my wallet,

or was it just the phone?

 

(Ashurst Bridge)

 

The woodpeckers

seem to have fled their label,

though not before they’d pecked

not wood, but brick.

(Ashurst Bridge)

If I’m being photographed

photographing this,

what do the surveyors make

of a surveyor of surveyors?

(Ashurst Bridge)

 

I do admire how solidly

cattle stand around.

That may be why the game of cow skittles

has been rather slow to catch on.

 

‘Hiya Cynth, how’s it going?’

‘Good, thanks, Cynth! I had a great time

 with Cynth and Cynth last night. 

Though I'm still annoyed that all of us got the same name.’

  

It feels a bit soon 

to be nostalgic about the EU, 

even though I don't know anyone

who's glad that we're out.

 

(Brussels)

 

What is it about buildings

that makes them think

they can get away

without ever having a haircut?

 

(Brussels)

 

The Belgian pigeon

looks much the same as his British cousins.

What does he speak, though,

Flemish or French?

 

(Brussels)

 

Unless you count

a patch of sand as a destination,

this is a path to nowhere –

but it does look fast.

(Brussels)

 

I don't know what the Belgians

have against leaves -

or, come to that, against branches -

but the nature of the objection is clear.

 

(Brussels)

  

 In the Euro-wait... 

‘You know how you have to speak French

or else they get angry with you?’

Glad I'm going to Brussels, not Paris.

(St Pancras, London)

That must be twice

they refused to let someone win

wasn't the first smash

warning enough?

 

(Ladbrokes, Kings Cross, London)

       

How many forks

is a broken fork,

the halves of which 

fork?

 

Long legs?

I suppose so,

up to a point  -

but woefully short of the columns. 

 

 

Night is when

you want a mattress,

but maybe this is not

the one you want.

 

(Clerkenwell, London)

 

     

Ross Smith, Josh Rock, Rob Cross…

What's with all the pretentious darts names?

Is it any wonder

that Jermaine Wattimena is Dutch?

 

(Those listed - and picture in order - are among the world's top-ranked 24 players at the time of the Winmau World Masters in Milton Keynes, ensuring them automatic entry. I’m sorry to see that Chuck Bull has slipped so far down the rankings that I couldn't find him. Luke Littler beat Luke Humphries in the final on 1 Feb 2026)

Clap for the pigeons!

Or stamp your feet.

More fun, perhaps, to try to kick them,

safely aware that you can’t.

(Southampton)

To peel

or not to peel

might seem an innocuous question,

but I wouldn't like to be flayed.

 

Who knows which colour

is the boss

in the world

of two-tone moss?

Can I be a pedant

and point out that there are twelve corners

in three squares,

even if you insist on avoiding triangles?

 

(Three Corners Adventure Playground, Clerkenwell, London)

 

It feels polite

to blur this man

and his raggedy blanket

into a miasma of anonymity.

 

(Old Street underground station, London)

 

I suspect it’s the trainees

who get to design

the cardboard box building

that advertises the firm from outside.

 

(Wilkinson Eyre architects, Shoreditch, London)

 

I suppose you want

your ball back?

But we play hard ball round here,

so hard luck.

 

(Clerkenwell, London)

 

You wish it could be Christmas everyday?

If you do,

this house agrees:

it’s January 24^th.

(Clerkenwell, London)

 

  

When the light falls

on what is not a veil,

you may find yourself veiled

nonetheless.

(I got a bit of cellophane trapped in the TLS: that's 'Self-Portrait in a Straw Hat' by Elisabeth Louise Viglée Le Brun, 1782)

 

Who is

this near-imposter?

And why are they

not stocking him?

 

(HMV, Southampton: Corey Kent – he needs to work on the hyphen – is a country singer born in Oklahoma, 1994)

 

Could you have found

a more appropriate backdrop

for such an impoverished

urban tree?

 

These circumstances

have remained unforeseen since 2017,

posing the question:

how hard can it be to foresee the past?

(the original closure was put down to a building problem, but as Nat West reduced their branches from 1,550 at the start of 2017 to 450 at the end of 2025, I don’t suppose much effort was put into solving the issue)

I've never been in there

Some online reviews

claim it’s misnamed,

others say it isn’t.

 

(Trip Adviser ranks it 19^th of 25 restaurants in Totton, not an overwhelming endorsement, but based on very little data)

When did ‘mate’

start to mean

someone with whom

you do not mate? 

 

(Internet image illustrating platonic friendship)

You wait months

to find someone thoroughly orange

then spot four of them

coordinating orange acts to boot.

 

(Mayfair, London, January 2026: After taking the photograph for ‘Orange Revolution’, November 20205, I resolved to take a picture every time I saw a fully orange person) 

It’s lucky the car park isn’t very full

given that I’m taking up two spaces

with my otherwise-modest Toyota

and its greedy reflection…

(Southampton)

Tiles can be beautiful

but how often do we hear that

said of the grout

that we expect to hide beneath?

(Chancery Lane underground station. London)

         

If you happen to have

unmatched feet,

here’s your chance to match them for nothing

with unmatched footwear.

(Southampton)

    

I’m not convinced the complex scaffolding prize

is really worth winning:

they build it up, of course they do,

but fall down on the cash.

(Soho, London)

      

No wonder the police

are slow to respond:

they're all tied up

collecting malparked bikes.

 

(This implausible claim is made in South Kensington)

We’re forty miles from Surrey

Close compared with Yorkshire, Sydney,

Mars or the nearest nebula,

but a pretty long walk from here.

 

(Ashurst... Glasgow is 365 miles from Ashurst, Sydney is 10,700 miles, Mars is 140 million miles on average. The closest nebula to Earth is the Helix Nebula, 650-700 light-years away in the constellation Aquarius. One light year is 5,878,625,370,000 miles - call it six trillion - so we’re talking a decent schlepp there.)

 

 

I wonder how close

they think I think Mars is now?

And how much closer

they’ve persuaded it to come?

 

(South Kensington Underground Station. In case it helps the Science Museum, I believe the answer varies considerably. The closest Mars has ever been to Earth in recorded history was in August 2003, when the planets were approximately 35 million miles apart. This close approach occurs when Earth passes between the Sun and Mars, aligning the three celestial bodies. When I saw this poster in January 2026, Mars was 235m miles from earth, closer to the solar conjunction when it is opposite the Sun from Earth – near to the maximum distance 250m miles. So the museum’s timing is open to question: right now, I’d guess that most people seeing the poster do believe that Mars is closer than it is. To be fair, they might mean Luke Jerram’s touring artwork model of Mars, which you might have guessed was on view somewhere in Britain, though even that is currently accessible only in Massachusetts.)

The dead on the living

seems the wrong way round.

Shouldn't the efforts of the living

be built on the achievements of the dead?  

 

(Southampton)

 

This is the cleverest pheasant I know

Aware that I take photographs,

he always strikes the identical pose

when I drive past, keen to be seen at his best.

 

(Minstead)

This type of Gellyfish

has no sting.

I doubt if they can guard themselves,

let alone the contents of the flat.

(Fordingbridge: my sister-in-law, Geraldine ‘Gelly’ Kent, is a keen aquarist)

         

Why didn’t we think

of that?

An external curtain

to intercept the drafts at source!

 

(Fordingbridge)

 

This is a dog-friendly pub

Yet should the pooches

really be

let loose on the cappuccinos?

 

(The Three Lions, Fordingbridge)

 

The pen is

mightier than

the penis

even though it has the same letters.

(Internet image)

 

I suspect this post 

of taking the double piss

by parking on the red lines,

then showing them up as insubstantial...

 

(Southampton)

 

No-one likes parking cones

But does that justify

treating one with this much

cone-tempt?

 

(Southampton)

Judging by the guide

to its wildlife in winter

even the hardiest of the park’s inhabitants

will start to feel the cold.

                

 

The Big Van has gone

I don’t remember it having a tail,

but it seems to have wagged it

on the way out. 

File under

‘I can't believe

they're not leaves’

while knowing you can believe it easily enough.

(Kensington, London)

Do they sell buzzes and bangs

or is the shop called Onamatopia

because that was the least

onomatopoeic word they could conjure?

(Lyndhurst)

 

There's the whistle!

Have they just begun

or was that the sale’s

concluding Phweeeeep!!! ?

(Marylebone, London)

I know I’m not much

of a completer-finisher

but I do OK

when it comes to books and sex and Twix.

 

The moss caterpillar

is crossing the woodland floor.

Its butterflies are rather rare,

I wonder what we're in for?

   

From where

would you like

your bricks knocked out?

This wall seems to know.

(Totton)

    

Brett the window cleaner is a helpful chap

but he’s left our hosepipe out on the lawn.

Does he not realise that, under Stephian law,

that’s very close to a capital offence?

Here's a house

that failed the test

of reading the seasonally altered

waste collection schedule.

Having spent a summer

without occlusion

I’m happy enough to see, if imprecisely,

matters getting vague. 

 

That's what I call

a thorough felling:

I'll found a tree religion

if it rises from that!

 

        

 

Supposing the shadow

of wood on wood

were an illusion,

where would we be?  

 

 

Time again to monitor

how the paint is chipping

in the pedestrian underpass

that runs beneath the A 326.

 

The sun is winning

the tunnel’s light contest

despite the handicap

of 93 million miles.

Here may be where not to live

Right up against the railway line

at just the point where trains must hoot

to warn any pedestrians on the upcoming crossing.

 

(3 Foxhill Close, Ashurst)

 

A fridge

in the forest?

That

is not cool.

 

If I had a parking spot

as convenient as this

I, too, might be

exceptionally reluctant to leave it.

(Southampton)

 These chafer grubs

appearing to grin at each other,

might both be looking to say:

‘It’s no good grinning when you’re dead’.

Has anybody seen a dog

without a blue lead?

It was being taken for a walk

by a woman with a matching lack.

 

The Forest Edge retirement flats

are three miles from any plausible forest,

leading me to wonder

just how big an edge can be…

(Totton)